"It would have been easy for me to withdraw from church. But I felt compelled to keep attending each Sunday."
Have you ever felt that way before or lately? For sure you may have some valid reasons for feeling like that. It is understandable. I wouldn't conclude that you are an insincere Christian or that your faith is too shallow. That would not be kind or loving. In fact, it would be judgmental of me to do so. For how can I know for sure what you are truly going through? Only God would know that fully.
Often, it may be because you find the church lacking in something. Lacking in care? Lacking in sincerity? Maybe you find some Christians not walking their talk. In other words, you think they are hypocrites. They do not practice what they preach. Or maybe someone or several Christians hurt you. Maybe they borrowed money and did not pay back. Or maybe they are always asking favors from you. You are experiencing "helpers fatigue". Maybe the pastor (ouch), or a leader, is too demanding, too strong, too preachy. Maybe he or she doesn't know how to listen. There are too many "sins" that we can mention here. We don't have enough space or time to write them down. But you know what I mean. You have your reasons why being part of a local church is no longer attractive for you. "Been there, done that," you say. I get it. I probably will feel the same way if I experienced what you have experienced.
But being part of a Christian community is not the same as being part of a club. I don't join it as a consumer or customer who wants to experience some benefits so that I will continue to stay, or maybe pay my dues (tithes, offerings, etc.). I join it as a fellow traveler with others toward knowing Christ more in order to obey and serve Him. I come in as a person willing to learn from others as others are willing to learn from me.
We are all traveling together toward the center, which is Christ. Some are ahead of us; some are behind us. Some are running fast, while some are limping along. But we are all in this journey by grace through faith in Christ. We are holding hands together, helping each other so that no one will give up. Our relationship with each other is like a family. We are brothers and sisters in Christ. Just as I would not renounce my family just because we have some problems, I also will not abandon my Christian community just because they have faults.
Our focus must be on Jesus, and we must bear with one another and forgive each other as Christ has forgiven us. Our care for one another must be mutual, not unidirectional. I'm in this community not just so that people will take care of me. I'm also here so that I can take care of others. This is called mutuality of care. This is what it means to be part of a Christian community. This is the body of Christ in its reality.